Q. What do black people, Asians, and Irishmen call their moms? A. "Mom"

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Q:what has 6 legs and rides a unicycle! A: nothing!!! Duh!

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The Pittsburgh Pirates

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What do you get when you shoot 3 cute kittens that have just walked into the house? 3 dead kittens

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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Carrot fingers

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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knock, knock who's there owls owls who thats right owls who

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knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

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How do you protect yourself from fire? Kill an orphan and nail its bones to your skin.

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Why didn't the man tip his waitress? Because he's a cheap bastard.

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A man walked into a bar, therefore beginning a lifetime of alcoholism that would slowly tear his family apart.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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FAMOUS DUDE:SWAG! Thank you, thank yo- HEY NO FLASH PHOTOGRAPHY, NO YOU CANT HAVE MY-KABOOM AUDIENCE: . . . YAY CLAP CLAP CLAP.

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What do you call a penguin that hangs around in playgrounds? A paedophile.

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Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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69

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Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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knock knock who's there greg greg who greg is crying because his grandma dementia made her forgot all about him

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There is a black man and a Mexican in a car. Who's driving? The driver.

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Your mother is so classy, when I asked her to order at a fast food drive through she decided to park the car a eat inside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops