Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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A black man and a midget walk into a bar. They notice the beverages are unreasonably priced so they leave.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it felt like it.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he entered the batmobile? Robin, I had sex with your mother this last Thursday.

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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Q:How do u kill a butcher A: Kill its family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops