A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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Why was the Chinese man so sad? He's Asian.

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What did one hand say to the other? Nothing, you fool, hands don't talk.

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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what sits in the corner of a room and gets smaller and smaller? a baby combing its hair with a potato peeler

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what do you call a fat black cat and a skinny white dog? Just two animals that are judged.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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Why did captain hook die? He wiped asss

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Why was the prostitute unsuccessful? because she had no vagina

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What did the blind man say to the train conductor? Nothing. He was mute too.

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Why can't Jade Goody go swimming? Because she's dead.

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What happened to the chicken when it crossed the road? Nothing because the cars that almost hit it swerved off the road.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, We've just had sex, Now you have aids too....

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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What did the blond say when she got into a car crash? Nothing, she died.

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your a vagina says you, your a booby

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A. Why did the chicken cross the road? B. It was the chickens decision thus, not affecting your life greatly. You should therefore mind your own business and let the chicken live his life with capability of using it's rights.

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Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops