how do you make a little girl cry?? Kill her family

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One time at band camp, We practice playing our instruments and had fun.

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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Hey you wanna hear a joke? Sure! Well first, do you want part of my sandwich? No thanks.........Are you going to tell your joke? Joke? Um sure. I didn't know I was telling one. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Would you like part of my sandwich?

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

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yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

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I told my grandmother to act her age.... she then died

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Fox News

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why was the black man blind? because he was black.

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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A man walks into a bar...so what? People do it all the time.

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Q:Why did Jimmy eat an apple? A:He was hungry.

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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Q:What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Getting raped by a giant scorpion

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What's the difference between a mole and dynamite? - Moles don't explode... unless you fill them with dynamite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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