Your cat was in pain after after a stack of books suddenly fell on it. It's pain is extra-strong so you give it ExtraStrength Tylenol. Guess what happens next time? Nothing. It takes only 50mg to 60mg of Tylenol to poison a cat. 1 ExtraStrength Tylenol tablet is about 10 times that amount (500mg). You killed your cat. It's dead now and there is no "next time"..

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whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

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What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What did the single guy do on Valentine's Day? Celebrate his birthday since he was born on the same day.

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Your mother is so ugly corrective surgery would not be able to improve her appearance

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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Why is Osama Bin Laden scared of the dark? To be honest, I don't know, and I doubt you do either. Osama Bin Laden has been a fugitive on America's Top Ten Most Wanted list for over 10 years; there is no way that you could possibly know such personal information about him if the United States government can't even locate him and prosecute him for the heinous crimes he committed against the U.S. Don't ever lie to me again.

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A doctor, a farmer, and a blonde walk into a bar. The doctor orders red wine because he knows it's good for the heart. The farmer orders a Piña Colada because he likes fruit. The two men wait eagerly to what the blonde is about to order. The blonde opens her purse and says "Damn it, I can't find my credit card." Suddenly, a handsome young gentleman walks up to her says "Don't worry miss, I'll buy a drink for you. What are you having?" The blonde looks up and says "Don't worry? I just lost my credit card!" In a fit a of anger, the blonde storms out the bar and doesn't order anything.

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Roses aren't blue Violets aren't red She was my ex wife But now she's just dead.

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What kind of key can unlock a banana? Basically any key that is sharp enough.

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a guys was walking down the street in Queens. a attractive young woman walked by. He was interested in here so he said nice things and they ended up going on a date. She had a big butt.

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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What's Funny About A Black Man Being Shot? Nothing, That Man Was My Friend.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Hey I'm a poet and I didn't even realize that I was a poet

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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How did I do in the running events? Not that good, I'm a paraplegic.

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Do you know what the zombie said? Raaargh Brains

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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balls

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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