How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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What did the frog say when he heard his family was dead? "ribbit"

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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Roses are wilting violets are wilting YOU HAD ONE JOB

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Roll Pop? Depends. Are you applying a lot of pressure and licking in short, round bursts, or are you softly suckling on the treat? Your mouth's pH level is also a determining factor, as the sucker digests at a quicker rate the higher the acid content. To put it simply, there is no correct answer, because the sheer quantity of variables makes it a tootsie-less endeavor. See how I said tootsie-less rather than fruitless? Now that's a real joke.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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what did the downsindrome get for christmas?? A: Aids and a Dead wife

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How do you confuse a blond? Look at her

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How do you kill a fox? With a gun. How do you kill a deer? With a gun.

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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what does an adhd kid that causes all kind of trouble get? a buncha ass whoopins and some meds to dope his ass up

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Why did the mexican go back to mexico? He grew up there

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into an orange and finding a worm.

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A black man and a mexican jump off a building at the same time, who lands first? Who cares?

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women's rights, lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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