what did the chickpea say to the raison when he got called big but? Atleast i dont have a stick up my but.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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Did you know Helen Keller had a dog? No Neither did she

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Q: What does a bunny and a plum have in common? A: They're both purple except the bunny.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown What the hell who keeps shitting in my garden

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How do you get 100 Africans in a phone box? Throw a can of beans in there.

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after being hit by a train.

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like this if you think what ever you want to..

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What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

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Why can't Stephen Hawking run a marathon? Because it takes years of hard training to accomplish such a remarkable feat.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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Holy mother moley! Britain just brexited! Now there's no more Britain. Britain is all gone.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners unfamiliar with the Latin alphabet.

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An Icelandic boy hangs himself because of peer pressure. His family mourns for their loss

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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What did the white guy say when a black man punched him? Ow, i am sueing for assault. that is a crime

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What did Steven Hawking get for Christmas? ------ ------ ------ A bike.

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Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? Cuz she had no arms! B I T C H

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There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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