A seal walks into a club.

What does have stripes, give milk and can fly? A zebra, a cow and an eagle.

2 + 2 = fish

What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

What's big and long? My dick.

Q: If a hen-and-a-half can lay an egg-and-a-half in a day-and-a-half, how long would it take a peg-legged grasshopper to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle? A: He'd give up.

your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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what kind of dog has no tail? a hot dog

- On the cliff edge are standing three people: an Asian, Jewish and black man. Who's going to fall first? - Who's going to care about this?

What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

I used to be schizophrenic, but we're ok now.

Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

Woman + Kitchen = sandwich

Your mother is so stupid she couldn't get a passing score on a standardized test.

What was the blind man's favorite game? Marco Polo

My left foot has 6 toes, my right face has 8 Q-tips -Matt

Why does Eli Manning play for the Giants? Because he is huge.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am staraiL so dont touch me!!!!!

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

why did the man throw his clock out of he window? he was mentally insane.

Whats worse then getting shot in the leg? Getting shot twice in the leg

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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