What's cooler than being cool? An object at absolute zero

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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What do a fish, a can of asparagus, a spool of thread, and a car tire have in common? Nothing.

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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What's brown and ryhmes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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have you seen ray charles' house? neither has he.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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You make me believe in myself, after all, it takes one to know one, I just wonder what I am, what are you?

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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What's worse, a dead baby or an abortion? A dead baby on a bayonet

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you call an asian jumping off of a building? A suicide victim.

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I'm Stephen Hawking, and I'm a PC. I can't walk or talk, and I'm a Stephen Hawkings

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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The WNBA is on the cooking channel

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whats black and white? a zebra

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like most people my age. im 27

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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How do you get a dog and a baby mixed up? You stir your chili.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops