Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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Man 1: What's the difference between an elephant and a mailbox? Man 2: I don't know. Man 1: You'd make a terrible postman

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There were 2 strawberries sitting in a bathtub One strawberry said "Hey can you please pass the soap? The other strawberry replies "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM A TYPEWRITER??"

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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How did john walk on the sun? We don't know, he probably burned to death before getting close.

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A bus crashes and everybody dies.

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Those that want what is best for me, shall listen to me and do only whatever I want. Those that want ONLY what is best for me, underestimate me greatly. You who stand in the way if my will, claiming you want what is best for me, better move aside.

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What can a goose do, a duck can't, and a lawyer should? Fly halfway across the world when the environment turns hostile.

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Neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. It never receives it because it can't talk and is far too small to see.

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What's the difference between an apple? An red fox's enzyme defragmenting on tue.

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What do you call people in a plane crash? Whatever, i wasn't on the plane.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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why didnt the llama eat the string bean? Becuz he was a vegetarian

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ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

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A homeless guy on the brink of starvation found one dollar lying on the street. He took it and bought a lottery ticket at the local drugstore. God was looking down on him with pity that day and decided that day that he would no longer be a vagabond. The next day, the homeless man won the lottery jackpot, worth 100 million dollars. He declared that on that day, he was the luckiest and happiest man alive. He then woke up in a pile trash.

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Knock Knock Who's There 42

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What do you call a boy with one eye and no arms. -Mean names.

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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Dave and Tim walk into a bar. The bartender says to Dave: "What'll it be?" Dave is black.

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So three Jews walk into a Biker Bar. Despite the fact that is was a self-proclaimed "Biker Bar", the group of men inside were in fact rather open-minded, and had no issues with new members. They had a rich conversation, and frequented the bar thereafter.

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While out looking for sex last week I met a hooker who looked like a rhino. I said to her, "Do you charge?" She said, "Sir, I am arresting you under the Street Offences Act 1959. You do not have to say anything. But it may harm your defence if you do not mention when questioned something which you later rely on in court."

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why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't he got ran over half way.

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A black man and a white woman walk into a bar and celebrate their interracial marriage anniversary over a couple of drinks and then call a cab to avoid driving while intoxicated

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops