Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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jibby jobby

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What did the little boy ask for for Christmas? A new brain, as he has a malignant tumor, he died.

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Why was the boy eating lunch by himself at school? Because his only friend was hit by a train.

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Q: What did the floor say to the Christmas tree? A: Your balls are hanging.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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Q: What did the duck say to the bartender? A: Nothing considering that ducks cannot speak

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Why was Eight in court? He was involved in Nine's horrifying disappearance.

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An irish man walks into a bar. He drinks responsibly, and leaves shortly afterward.

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One day, a small bald man was walking up the street, when her saw a large red porche, extremely grand, and the door was wide open. He walked over and inspected the open door, and to his surprise, the keys were in place by the steering wheel. He was a good man, with a loving wife and two teenage children, and he had no intention of steeling the vehicle. But astonished by the owner lack of protection, he hopped into the car and drove it around the block, just for the thrill of riding such an amazing car. Around 30 seconds after, he parked the car, got out, leaving the car in the same place, with the door open and the keys in, then he walked home and lived the rest of his life.

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Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered sex offender.

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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If she's old enough to count, she's probably in second grade.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got revenge And you got big boobs. :3 Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad poet Now i'm dead. O_O

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hahah there are so funny that they are so funny that they are so litteral that i make my self make other people laugh so that they poop

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How do you make your friends more positive ? Infect them with HIV.

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Why was the chicken afaid to cross the road? because there was no road.

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

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A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

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Why was six afraid seven? Well, ever since six took an arrow to the knee he wanted to know who shot it. so he did some investigating, looked up some records and found seven was in the same war as him. then he thought about it, the big 7 scribed on the arrow he got shot with. Right then and there pain went into his back shooting upwards. He smacked the ground, and in his last moments of life saw seven standing above him. If your expecting another end down here then your a stereotype.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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