How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could chuck wood, it would depend on whether it wanted to or not. If it did want to, it could potentially chuck an infinite amount of wood in its lifetime

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Why did the young Mexican apply for a job at McDonalds? The economy is down and his family could use the extra money.

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? Because the grass tickles there balls

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I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!!! LOUD NOISES!!!

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What is intangible and has every color on the rainbow? A rainbow.

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Why do all black men carry guns? They don't. That is a stereotype. Now pants on the other hand, that's a different story.

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A man walks into a bar not a duck though

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Where did Sarah go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What do you call an Aboriginal in a yellow sleeping bag? An organised man, ready for the harsh winter ahead.

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Where's my tractor?

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put my sausage in your oven

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What did the stick of butter say to the lemon? "I'm a stick of butter"

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wommmoaooammaaa

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What do you call a blonde that just got hit by a school bus? Dead.

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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Why didnt suzy give mary i high five? because i cut off her hand

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Why couldn't the man make it to work? Because as he was leaving his apartment, he saw a gruesome murder on the street that was part of an ever-growing and evolving genocide. Quickly following this, he broke down into psychological turmoil and wandered aimlessly through the streets until he eventually reached a forest, where he was taken in by a wild boar and raised to believe in boar-gods. The man died peacefully while planting potatoes.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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A dog says to a horse "Hey, why the long face?" the horse just looks at him.

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the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister walk into a bar. The three of them discuss theology for quite some time and then begin approach various patrons with invites to attend their respective Sunday services.

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What would you do if I jumped down your throat when you were talking? That would never happen, as it's impossible to even climb into somebody's mouth.

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What do you call a lazy good-for-nothing who can't succed at anything, steals your money, and who is unskilled in every way? A women

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What is the definition of a "crying shame"? Very similar to the definition of a shame, but moreso.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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