A Jewish man with a 20 mile boner walks into a wall. Which body part hits the wall first? His nose

thumb_up thumb_down +29

get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Rihanna sing "to the left, to the left"? Because people usually sing in songs

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A girlfriend told her boyfriend it soaked all the way through. She screwed up their art project.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did Dan fall of his bicycle? Because somebody threw a refrigerator at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Hi, Steve!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

I found out I had asthma earlier today. I was breathless.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A. What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew: B. Pizza's don't scream when you put them into a oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many police officers does it take to secure 3 hooded black men? However many police are on duty.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

thumb_up thumb_down +27

My great grandfather died in a concentration camp. The poor guy fell off the guard tower.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the only day of the year when you're guaranteed to find me? The day I kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

how do people without arms and legs have sex? no one has sex with people without arms and legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did a ginger say to god? nothing gingers dont have souls and therefore cant go to heaven

thumb_up thumb_down +25

You know how I felt about Nero, no way id ever date anyone but you, back then that is. Fine I will come along, I bet you left the base at "point zero" without the information he left, you have not changed a bit Seth, always too impulsive for your own good, but Nero was always like that and that, turned out, well damn. Tell me first, if you come get me, how much have you really changed mentally from the last time we met? You sincerely sound like a psychopath and I could use a shoulder to cry on rather than be escorted to some sick torture dungeon thing. I gather you are not far away, could you please get over here asap? I do not care about more than the standard code anymore, you have not changed much, except you are a deranged psychopath now, I get it, in your place I think id do the same, I have no idea how bad Nero was doing when you found him, and I sure as hell dont want to know.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the chicken cross the road? I have no idea but I don't see why it would want to cross a road in the first place. It is a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Did you hear about the kid from Texas? He shot his campus up.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops