what did the hobo do when he saw timmy get hit by the bus and drop his ice cream? stole the ice cream and laughed

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What's red and green and goes 100 mph? A car that is driving recklessly and happens to have a Christmas paint scheme.

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FIRE!!

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What do you call an Arab flying a plane? A pilot. *BOOM* Never mind, he was a terrorist.

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Q: How did that man get two black eyes? A: He was born!

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Why did the girls head explode while eating supper? There was a grenade in her food.

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What is colourful and explodes in the air. I don't know but it sounds cool!

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Why was Jim fired from his job at the sperm bank? Continual absenteeism and inconsistent work.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Where do you put a black jew? In the back of the.... oh wait i have never seen a black jew before.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Why did the baby cross the road? cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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Your mom smells so bad that she proceeded to take a shower and then didnt smell bad at all.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar. He is destroying his family.

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What did the doctor say to the Lawyer? I get paid more

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What did the boy who succsesfully came out of liposection get? Diobeeties.

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You just threw a fireman and a baby out of a skyscraper... who arrived earth first? Adam and Eve. Moral: Because theology is bullshit.

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hey, can you answer a question for me? yeah, sure. ThankYou!

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why did the boy drop his ice cream? he tripped over his mother's dead body

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was a terrorist -lschles

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A man walks into a bar. He has three drinks, then he leaves because he realizes he needs to get home because he has to get up early to go to his job in the morning.

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There are 3 type of people in the world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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Two blondes are walking down the street. One breaks her left high heel and the other is called Monica.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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