A man walks into a bar and gets drink

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The adventures of HAROLD THE MONGOOSE: Harry dug a hole. He did not like that hole so he dug a new one. He liked that hole so he did not dig another one. Harry slept on a rock. He did not like that rock. So he smashed it with a ham. Harry found a new rock. He liked that rock so he didn't smash it with a ham. Harry ate a snake. He did not like that snake so he regurgitated it. Harry ate another snake. He liked that snake so he did not regurgitate it. Harry encountered a bush. He did not like that bush. Unfourtianately for Harry, that Bush became president.

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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What did the father say to his son? I'm leaving and I'm not actually your father.

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Q: Whats The Difference between Batman and Blackman? A: One can go to a store without Robbing it...

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jamie is a noob jamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noobjamie is a noob

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I man sees a shooting star and makes a wish. Nothing happens as shooting stars are incapable of granting wishes.

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Justin Bieber

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Tommy got neutered.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Women's Rights.

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Forget about them, do not compare yourself to those beneath you, you always wanted to help as many as possible, in a world where everyone fights for themselves only.

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Dogs

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how do you break up with your girlfriend? talk about their race.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not a blind guy.

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when life gives you lemons, you should go to the hospital as you may have dyslexia

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Why didn't junior say thank you for his christmas present from his dad? He was raised by two moms

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What do you call a man with no legs or arms trying to ski? Impossible.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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Yo Mama just died.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm only 13 so if you have sex with me it's illegal.

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60+8.99999999=68.99999999 soo close

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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