Why did a vampire climb Mount Everest in the middle of the night on his birthday in September?

roses are red violets are blue cookie monster is gonna eat you big bird is yellow you look mellow dont forget elmo to

Four blondes are driving to Disneyland, as they finally got to Florida, they read a sign that said "Disneyland: left" so they turned around and headed home.

What would happen if you put a marshmellow in a tractor Because 7, 8, 9

Today, my doctor discovered I had a tumor in my brain the size of a walnut. FML.

What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

why did the chicken stop in the middle of crossing the road? to get to the other side

I bont really understand dyslectic peapole

Why was the black man arrested? Tax evasion.

Why did the woman cross the road? Why the hell is she out of the kitchen!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Beacause the destination he was trying to reach was across this road Notice how he tried This is because he got hit by a car but know one cares for him

Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

How do you kill a blonde girl? You put a scratch and sniff sticker on the bottom of a filled pool.

A black man comes home from work.

Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

Boston was having so much fun everyone was running and screaming

What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

Q: What do you call a dog with metal balls and two-inch legs? A: Animatronic

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at it.

Why did Bill fall out if his chair? He was hit by an airplane.

What's creepy about a loving couple having sex? I made them do it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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