What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Justin Bieber.

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What did the man say when he lost his keys? I lost my keys. What did the man say when he saw an elephant in the distance? There is an elephant in the distance.

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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How does Moses make his Tea? Hebrews it.

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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Why was the bully in detention? He punched a fellow classmate.

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Roses are red violets are blue I have a gassing chamber and you are a jew

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what do you call a tall skiny kid with a very big ego autistic

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a wh0re.

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

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What do you call four black people in a car? A family road trip.

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Sharvil has aids 4 times

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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what can't you see but stalks you all day and night? ME!!!

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops