An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that evolution had created. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!", he said to himself. As he was walking along the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. When he turned to see what the cause was, he saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging right towards him. He ran as fast as he could. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear was closing, He ran even faster, crying in fear. He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear was even closer. His heart was pounding and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up, but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike him. At that moment, the Atheist cried out "Oh my God!...." Then the Atheist died a violent and terrible death.

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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Why do they call it "Unsweetened Tea?" Did they put sugar in it and then take it back out again?

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What do you call a black and white ruler? Barack Obama.

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What's white and sticky? A marshmellow.

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

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What do you call a rollercoaster without a coaster? A roller

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poems, wanna f***.

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what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

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What is the best way to kill Kony? Shoot him in the head.

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What happened to the guy who drank poison? he died.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Mike Mike who? Mike who you just called and told to come over Oh ok, come in

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What did the cancer patient say to the other cancer patient? Nothing, he was dead.

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How are a cow and a wall the same? They both go "moo". Except for the wall.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

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What did Jesus say when he walked on water? I'm drowning

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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What do you call a mouse having sex? A spouse.

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Why did the little girl not speak? It was Anne Frank

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A woman walks out of the kitchen.

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ask me if im a boy are you a boy? none of your buisness.

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Three guys walk in to a bar. One got a concussion.

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How do you make a black plumber cry? - kill his whole family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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