Roses are gray, Violets are gray, Everything is gray, I'm a dog.

What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

A 2 lb ball and a 10 lb ball are dropped at the same time. Which hits the ground first? They both hit the ground first. Go ahead and try it. Go on. Now. If you are still reading you really want to know if anything else is going to happen. Well nothing exciting. Just a potato. 0 looks like a potato

What do you call a dead black person? A corpse.

What did the rug say to the floor? I got you covered

Q: What did the Jewish man find when he turned on his shower? A: gas

Why did the black man buy ten packets of Kool-Aid at the supermarket? Because it is a refreshing beverage that many individuals enjoy drinking.

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

what is worse than tripping over a tree root? getting mauled by a 60 foot bear

"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

why was the old man on the ground he fell

how did the girl die? she read all of your terrible anti-jokes.

There was a guy and a girl naked in bed, sleeping together. When they woke up they didn't remember the last 72 hours and wanted some questions answered, including Where am I? Who are you? What year is it? What's my name?

What does a chocolate bar and a dolphin have in common? Nothing

Q: What did the schizophrenic man say to his father? A: "Every time grandmother's urn shrieks, this pornography turns to black ink."

Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

How do you escape prison? Kill everyone in it hen once you have escaped find their families and viciously murder them. Are they going the send you back to prison? No because you will kill everyone.

Why did the Grandad teabag his Grandson? Because he likes dipping his balls into the mouths of his Grandchildren; as if they were a teabag and his mouth was a mug.

how many large people can you fit in a bath tub ... 1/16

how many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? one

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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