How do you make a little girl cry twice? You rub your bloody penis on her teddy bear.

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What boy with no arms get on his birthday? Lego.

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What is worse than the holocaust? A worm in your apple.

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If boobs are round. And so are balls. Then i just cant figure out why the sky is blue?

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Q: What has 2 eyes and 2 halves of pigs' snout? A: Two pigs peeking around a corner.

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why do chairs recline Because they were built that way!!!!

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

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how do you stop a bus? Well, just up the road is a stop sign so the bus will stop there because it is illegal to go through a stop sign without stopping.

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Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

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A nuclear device is dropped on hiroshima. Does it make a sound? The answer is yes because the americans are laughing in Enola Gay

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Postman Will you sign hear please he said Oh my toaster came

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What happened when the lawyer went surfing? A shark came up and tore his leg off.

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Why did the dog start barking? Because it was a dog.

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An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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“Knock knock” “Who's there?” “Jesus” “Jesu.............wait, REALY?” “No,Jesus is currently "dead".”

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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A blind man watches TV

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Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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