When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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Adele Gordon walks into a bar. The bartender says 'Why the long face?' Because she is a horse lol.

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womens rights

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What's a black man that drives a bus? A bus-driver

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Your mother is so fat, we needs two fat jokes to adequatly make fun of her.

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What do you call a muslim with a gun I dont know his name

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Roses are red, Here's something new. Violets are violet, Not f***ing blue.

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Johnny is walking around school when he sees a kid crying. He asked the kid what he was crying about and the kid said " I was trying to talk to a girl"

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Some really old band covered Dirty Bit. But the cut out the Dirty Bit part so its just the Time of life part

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Why did the middle-eastern man fly his plane into the Empire State Building? Because he was a bad pilot with an interest in American architecture.

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Q: Why did Tom bought a new sweeper? A : because his grandma fired their maid

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Why did the car slow down? Becuase the driver pressed the break

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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Lance Armstrong gets on a bike

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Why wasn't the crow allowed on the plane? He had too much carrion luggage

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What word starts with "f" and ends with "uck"? Firetruck!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To mutilate the body of a Jewish girl that lay on the other side.

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whats the difference between a black rapist and a white rapist? the black rapist is black

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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What did the lawyer name his daughter. he couldnt because both the baby and his wife died in child birth.

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In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

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Q: What's green and has four wheels? A: A green car.

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Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

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Why did the Smartie get fired from the M&M factory? For throwimg out all the W&Ws

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops