Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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What did Tom get for Christmas? Gloves, but Tom had no arms.

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Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.

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There were three people on an airplane. A Mexican, an American and an Italian. The plane chrashed and they all died.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Noideer! No.Blind What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs? Still Noideer! No, it's basically dead

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Harold Camping and the May 21st 2011 rapture.....

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What did the blind kid say to his dad Nothing , his dads dead

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two muffins were in an oven, one muffin said to the other, " ohmygod! its so hot in here!" the other muffin said,"AHHHHHH!!!! its a talking muffin!!"

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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whats the easiest way to kill a baby? let it live a long and meaningful life, prolonging the inevitable death of old age.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? Too many because they are babies and they don't have the motor skills to properly use a paintbrush.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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How do you make a black man sad? Kill his entire family.

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A man walks into a bar. Cool story, bro.

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What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

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A momma tomato and a baby tomato are walking down the street, and the baby tomato starts to fall behind. The mother turns to it and says "hurry up."

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What's better than winning a gold at the paralympic Walking

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What happened when my familys break on the car didn't work? They rolled down a hill and fell off a cliff and died. I loved them.

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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Basically

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-Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Willis. -Wills who? -IT'S ME WILLIS. YOUR SON! -Whatchu talking bout Willis, I ain't got no son. -Remember Bill, my father? I was conceived on your 20th birthday party. .... - Is he fat white Bill, Mexican Bill, or Billette the shemale? And thus, poor Willis jumps off a bridge, committing suicide, because his biological mother turns out to be a shemale screwing whore.

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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