An Octopus walked into a bar. He then died as he had been out of his natural habitat for an exceedingly long period of time. An octopus can only survive on land for 30 minutes.

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A blind man watches TV

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“Knock knock” “Who's there?” “Jesus” “Jesu.............wait, REALY?” “No,Jesus is currently "dead".”

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Obama ran for re-election in 2012. He lost because he is a horrible president. the liberal left blame his defeat on racists and propose harsh Hate-Crime punishments. America falls into disrepair.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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Why did the boy die? He got hit by the school bus.

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Why did Amy fall out of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. (Who's there?) Not Amy.

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Three irishmen walk into a bar...every day, and then stay until it closes.

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Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

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Whats the difference between a jew and a canoe? Canoes weren't killed by Hitler

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What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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god made the sea god helped invent the first wheel but as you know he also made me a really big deal !

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Why did the bakery run out of the business? They weren't making enough dough

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FUCK YOU

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Whats the difference between Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga? one of them is a women the other one is not.

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what brown, red, and green and smells like poop. diareeha

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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What's the difference between a trash can full of dead babies and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

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Again, what is it called when you are safely inside at winter your power is out, but the streets are full of people as the weather gets really bad and people start bouncing around? Blizzard Entertainment. What is it called when a robot lets out gas? Electronic fArts.

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In my opinion I am superior to you all in every single way,an opinion you might disagree with, but can respect. While on the other hand, I have no reason to respect and even less agree with your inferior opinions at all.

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Why did the boy drop his vannlai ice cream?because Vannlia ice came.

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What a person such as you would say. Anyway, did you notice how I started by emulating your way of typing, spelling, spacing and so on?

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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Why didn't Michael J. Fox feel the Virginia earthquake? He was on vacation in Maui.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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