Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what the difference between ET and polish people? ET is an alien and polish people are human

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's grey and can't swim? A castle.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q: How do you make babies cry? A: Throw a brick at it's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, the answer is to get to the other side, but this is an anti-joke site so I don't know why as it can't be it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why'd the Chinese kid die how the hell should i now

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's Big and Round? My Testicular Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your momma's so dumb she graduated high school with a C average.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

thumb_up thumb_down +1

*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

thumb_up thumb_down +1

why did the woman call the police? because there was a murderer pointing a gun at her at her son.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I fly my canoe upstream and a wheel falls off, then how many lollipops does Obama have? None, because dogs can't use flashlights.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops