Why did the old man miss the Alzheimer's Day walk? Because he died in his sleep.

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why did the irishman, the englishman and the african man die? because i went on a violent killing spree, murdering everyone i saw

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

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What do you get when you mix Lil Wayne and Lil John? A full size John Wayne

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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Once a upon of time, there was a very big kangaroo named Jake. Well one day Jake was eating some food when suddenly a bunch of humans came and saw him. One human name Willie went over to take some pictures of the animal. The Jake ran away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it's goal was to get to the other side however unfortunately a giant gorilla picked up a car; threw it at a nearby building causing it to collapse; setting off a massive explosion causing all of the buildings on that side of the street to collapse. As the whole other side of the street was covered in rubble making it impossible for the chicken to get to the other side, so the chicken decided to turn around and go home.

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Anything involving women..

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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What do owls and cars have in common? Nothing.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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The seven dwarves sat around the house feeling Grumpy, so Grumpy left.

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I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night. The handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket.

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What is white and smells like wood? White painted wood

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Have you ever seen Hellen Keller's house? Well it was really nice.

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What's the difference between an orange? Two typewriters, because vests don't have sleeves.

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s s is for shit h h is for hit i i is for it t t is turtle

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A giant foot comes over the town and a man says "theres something big afoot" hahahahahahaha

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What's the ultimtate guerilla camoflauge at night time? Black people.

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I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

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I've lost my electron!! Are you sure? Yes! I'm Positive!

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black —Stevie Wonder

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Why did the girl cross the road? Doesn't matter she got hit by a bus.

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Q. Wheres your nan???? A. In my closet

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops