What doesn't kill you makes you injured

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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What did one Platypus say to the other Platypus? Nothing, Platypuses can't talk. However, they are the only mammal to lay eggs.

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What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

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roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

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How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

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What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

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How high is a Chinaman

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How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

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What colour are blackberries? Purple.

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How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

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Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

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Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

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What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

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Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

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A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

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How can you tell if there is an idiot at a dogfight? When someone pits a Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a moron at a dogfight? When someone BETS on the Chihuahua. How can you tell if there is a cheater at a dogfight? When the victory goes to the Chihuahua.

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What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

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Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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What's the difference between a plum and an elephant? They're both purple but the elephant is gray.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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