whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What's faker than a rich mexican? A unicorn smoking weed

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How do you stop an asshole from being an asshole toward you? Shoot him in the head.

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a sloth? Everything. The blonde is a human being and humans are way different than sloths.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Nothing, he was in tremendous pain.

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there was a lesbian, a bi-sexual and a homosexual at a wine bar having a drink.......They had a great night

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Who would be an amazing GOP VP? Chris Christie -Mitt Romney

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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a turtle walks into a bar and eats everyone

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Why couldn't anybody at school taste lunch? Nobody made lunch.

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's green and shitty? A bootleg stick.

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What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

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What is a ghost's favorite appetizer? Ghosts aren't real.

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A man asks a young boy to get in his van. The kid, being very well-educated tells the man he cannot talk to strangers. So, the man tells the kid he understands, and drives away to another nearby child.

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HOW LONG is a Chinese name?

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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seven guys rob a bank, they share it in this ratio 2:2:2:4:2:5:2 who got the most money? you don't know

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What's the meaning of life? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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