- Anti Joke

A man is in prison and one day his cellmate offers to help him escape. The cellmate tells the man to quickly hide under the covers on his bed and that he'll instruct him further once the security guard passes. The man is then raped. Savagely.

So there is two clowns. Pickle and Jim. If you were asked who was funnier, you would probably say pickle. Well you would be wrong. It's Jim.

Knock Knock! Who is there? I am the milkman and I have your milk.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms

there was a pre school teacher and he told the children to draw a squirell. One boy breaks into tears because his entire family was slaughtered by a pack of squirrels. This upset the teacher

Why did the heroin addict get staff infection? His skin broke open multiple times without proper cleansing.

ROSES ARE RED FRIENDS ARE FRIENDS, NO MUTUAL FRIEND, WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO ADD ME ON FACEBOOK BITCH!

A black woman was filling out forms at the welfare office. Under "Number of children," she wrote "10," and where it said "List names of children," she wrote "Leroy." When she handed in the form, the woman behind the desk pointed out: "Now here where it says "List names of children," you're supposed to write the names of each one of your children." "Dey all named Leroy," said the black woman. "That's very unusual. When you call them, how do they know which one you want?" asked the welfare worker. The Black woman said, "Oh, den I uses the middle names."

A woman went outside for some fresh air.

How long is a china man?

You're walking down a street and you see a man struggling to open a door, what do you do? Whatever you feel like doing.

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? I'm sleeping with your wife

Q: whats white and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you A:a fridge

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

How do a jew, an African, and u white man stop a train? They pull the breaks

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

A man walks into a bar. He has a beer and then goes home.

How many raisins can you fit in a box? It depends on the size of the raisins and the box.

Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

Billy: Why do pirates say rrrrr? Mark: I don't know, I'm not a pirate.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for shit