What did the orange say to the lemon? "Hello"

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Miscarriages.

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How many babies does it take to paint a barn red It depends how hard you throw them

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roses are red violets are blue sunflowers are yellow I bet you were expecting something romantic but this is just gardening facts

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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What do you call a banana that just got pealed A banana

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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Whats the difference between a baby and my freezer? I don't stick my meat in the freezer!

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream? Getting a virus that slowly deteriorates your body from the inside out.

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Why did the Triceratops walk into a grocery store? To buy groceries

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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Why don't midgets live in penthouses? They can't reach the button in the elevator.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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How do you get a jewish girls number check her wrist

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Q: What would happen if you threw a red brick into the black sea? A: It would get wet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops