Q: How many jews can you fit in a car A: 2 in the front. 3 in the back and as many as you want in the ash tray.

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What do you call a man who can't sing. Untalented and he should probably find a new profession

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Your Momma is sooooo poor, she struggles day by day to feed you and your 8 siblings while keeping a roof over your head.

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How do you confuse a blonde? take the albuterol

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What looks like half of an apple? The other half.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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what do you get when you mix a llama with a ostrich? i dont know

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Why did the turkey cross the road? His friend, the chicken, had just been hit by a passing car.

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A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

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What's blue, wriggles around, and sits in a corner? A dying baby in a plastic bag. What's green, doesn't wriggle around, and sits in a corner? A Christmas tree. The current homeowners were never made aware of the atrocity committed by the previous occupants.

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Why did billy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What do you call the fear of anteaters? Stupid.

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What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring? -Allergies.

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silly rabbit trix are for kids and jews

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How long can penguins hold their breath underwater? Long enough for you to eat a baby and then cover for it.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin after being attacked by a man with a mace.

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What does a black guy and an apple have in common? They're both apples except for the black guy

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A bear walks into a bar, and says "I would like a pint of..........beer." The bar tender asked "why the long pause?" The bear replies "I think I just had a stroke."

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Q:what is a wheelchairs biggest fear A: steps

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A blond Canadian and his Korean friend are going together to Korea. When checking in the person asks the Canadian if he has a return ticket leaving the country. He replies yes but he does not have it on him. According to Korean Customs and Immigration laws a non-Korean citizen must have a return ticket to enter the country. Inevitably follows a long and tedious process in order to procure the ticket in order to pass customs. The Korean and the Canadian continue to their boarding gate.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How do you kill a dead baby? You can't, it's already dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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