- Anti Joke

How did the blind dyslexic boy find his way out of the cornfield? -He drew backwords numbers and letters in the dirt

Roses are blue Violets are red I shot your valentine Straight in the head

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Suzie

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... Your mom's a wh0re.

if dragonflies have purple toe nails, then how many pancakes does it take to build a doghouse? canada, because snakes don't have armpits!

Why did the quick brown fox jump in the lake? He did not see lake on the other side of the lazy dog.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

Yo momma so fat she couldn't even fit in a house

Domonic is a gay homo!!!!!!!!!!!! Vagina

What did the sick kid say to Make a Wish foundation? To get better

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She didn't. Despite losing her arms in a terrible accident as a child, Suzy persevered to become a renowned gymnast. After several turns as a champion Special Olympian, Suzy retired from sports in order to tour elementary schools as a guest speaker. She inspired thousands of disabled children across North America and was a highly-respected orator. Suzy sadly passed away in 2009 at the age of 62. She is survived by her two lovely daughters, Karen and Michelle.

Two black guys jump off a bridge..who lands first? They would land at the same time due to earths gravity acting on them both with an equal force.

What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

69

Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

MAKE

Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

Why did Tupac Shakur get shot? He was a famous and very controversial celebrity, which naturally led to having a lot of enemies.

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To achieve his goal on the other side of the road. Being a chicken he is not aware of the arm a fast traveling motor vehicle can bring to him.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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