What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the ocean? Dead.

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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why did Helen Keller cross the road? she didn't, she wasn't able to find it

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What did the confused blonde girl ask to a nearby student? Nothing. She isn't supposed to chat because it's study hall and they enforce a strict "no talking" policy.

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Why did the little boy fall over. Because someone shot him in the face.

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what is differnt about a boyscout and a jew? the boyscout comes back from camp

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How do you save a drowning Asian teenage boy? You get him out of the water.

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What's the best thing about twenty three year olds? There's twenty of them

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Why was the turtle blue? He wasn't you are color blind.

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A black guy walks into his bar. So he pays his tab and couldn't have been more coureious.

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"Ask me a question." "No" "Cheese" ... "What?"

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What did the black man say to the fat Irish lady? Hi.

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I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

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What's the tallest building in the world? A library cause it has so many stories get it haha.

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Dude, that's not banana ice cream...

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what do you call a guy called Bill? Bill

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What do you call a tortilla from venezuela? A tortilla.

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How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? The same amount as white people, stop being racist.

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Yo Momma so fat, that the doctor prescribed her prescription drugs that deal with her eating disorder and recommended that she begin a low calorie diet and live a more active lifestyle.

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How are a chicken and a grape similar? They're both round. Except the chicken.

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What's worse than dieing? Not much.

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Yes 59 10 away from my faverite number....... 49

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A mum and a dad were having guests round for dinner. The daughter overheard them arguing. Dad was calling mum a b*tch and mum was calling dad a b*stard. The daughter asked them what it meant and they just said, "oh, it just means ladies and gentlemen". Later, when mum was doing her makeup, she dropped it and said oh "sh*t". Daughter asked what it meant and mum replked "it's just another word for makeup". After that, dad dropped the turkey and said "oh, F*ck!" Daughter asked what it meant and he replied "its another word for cooking". When the guests arrived, the daughter answered the door, and said "hello b*tches and b*stards. Mums upstairs stuffing sh*t on her face and dads in the kitchen f*cking the turkey".

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You're flying above the Kansas Ocean, you lose your brakes and have to paddle all the way to shore. How many dogs can you fit on a carousel? Blue, because Ice Cream is cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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