Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

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What's nice and looks like a rat? Ryan Kavanagh, I lied about the nice part

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two ducks run into each other........ then they walk away

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so a black guy goes to a hot dog eating contest how many does he eat? enough to win.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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Why did the Chinese Arab buy blue paint? He already had red in his basement.

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i look around to find that my air head is missing, i then figure out that i had eaten it.

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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