If life though you lemons, through skittles at them and say tast the freakin rainbow.

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#IHateHashtags

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To cause global mayhem.

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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What did one dinosaure say to the other? Nothin, they are all dead. XD

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why was the black man blind? because he was black.

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yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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I don't know which one is emptier my bank account or my love life

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Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because she's been bound and gagged by kidnappers who are holding her for ransom.

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One dark, stormy night, there was a man, limping slowly down the road. He looked across the road and noticed a little girl on a park bench. He carefully moved around behind , creeped up, and slowly tapped her on the shoulder. I tap 2 tap 3 tap The little girl slowly turned her head, and as she did, the man uttered 3 sentences.... "Would you mind helping me get back to my apartment, my hand was cut off in the war, while I was serving my country, which is why I have a hook as opposed to a hand. I was heading back to my apartment to greet my wife and 2 little children, since I just got back from a long day's work at the soup kitchen, helping those in need, and I sprained my ankle. By the way, my name I John Thompson."

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A black man, hispanic man, and white man walk in to a bar. They are all friends. They enjoy a few beers together then call a taxi to take them home because it is irresponsible to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

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So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

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A father and son get into a car crash. They go to the hospital and both the father and son are unconsciuos. The doctor comes in to the son's room and says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son. How could this happen if the dad is knocked out? It was a gay couple.

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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A plane crashes near an uncharted island with a low supply of fresh water and hardly any animals, except for a few deadly ones. How do the survivors live until rescuers show up? -There were no survivors from the plane crash

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*Knock knock* Who's there? No one answers so the man opens the door and gets stabbed 7 times in the chest

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What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 went to war and when he came back, he was really messed up. One day he took 2 into a dark alley and beat him up really badly. Now, it's not just 6 who is afraid, but everyone.

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how do you punish helen keller? leave the plunger in the toilet.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is a woman

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What do you do in a one night stand? Stand all night long.

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What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops