yo Mama so stupid that she took a piece of paper and taped it on the t.v and called it paperview.

What did Helen Keller say to the priest? Nothing, she didn't know he was there.

Why did the lion eat food Because seaweed is green

what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it was hit by a car

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than The Holocaust? TEN HOLOCAUSTS? What's worse then TEN HOLOCAUSTS? THE END OF THE WORLD

What's big, moves around everywhere, and has four wheels? four TEENS on four wheelers

How do you send Harry Potter a post card? Get an owl to send it to his house.

If you took all of the garbage produced in New York City in just one week, and put it in the middle of Central Park, the stench would be unbelievable.

Women's Rights

How do you get a mexican to do the yard work faster? Offer him a 5% bonus.

What did the sheriff call the death of a black man who was shot 14 times? -The worst case of suicide he'd ever seen.

why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

Whats the difference between a house and a truck? Ones a truck the other one is a house

How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

Patient: Doctor, I was cleaning my glass eye and accidentally swallowed it. Doctor: OK. Lean over and spread your legs. Patient: (Leans over and spreads his legs). Doctor: My God! This is the first time, in all my years of practice, that I've ever seen an asshole looking back at me!

Don't quote me on this Nero, but she kinda deserves it, she should know better, its not like you have gotten this far by not knowing your limits, even if you tend to break them way too often. Can you get rid of the hallucinations with your mind alone? If not get to sleep asap! And stay asleep for a month or so, and if they somehow cant feed your system intravenously, they can all get the fuck out of there.

Oh, well if you want, I would like for you to tell her that I wish her good health, suddenly it sounds like I am speaking with spider man here, so you could balance on the top of a tower like a ninja and stuff?

So a train conductor is going at 70 mph to to a destination 50 miles away. He goes over 3 hills, one at 20 mph, the other 42 mph, and the last at 63 mph. he crosses 2 bridges at 47 mph each. What did the train conductors mom eat for dinner that night Nothing she had cancer and died.

Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

Why did the chicken cross the road? Most likely for no discernible reason as chickens are animals with poor reasoning skills.

belly button

Do u take sugar?

Dyslexics have more nuf!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...