Q: The president is driving down the road, when the wheels of his boat fall off. How many ping pong balls does it take to fill the Empire State Building? A: False. Vests don't have sleeves.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you milk a cow? Pull on its' utters.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hurricane Sandy should be named A-Rod. Cuz he dosent hit anything

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Did you hear the joke about the butter? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

tommy is retared

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? I raped your mom and she swallowed my load, k

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do people and jelly beans have in common? Nothing. One is a living creature, and the other is a tasty treat.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do you know if a girl is special? If she hates justin bieber, Twilight, and is open to threeways.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What colour are blackberries? Purple.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Why was the teenage girl pregnant? She got raped by her dad.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A coach walks into the team dressing room at halftime; his team is down 42-0. He screams at the players, "You guys are playing like a bunch of grannies. No offense"

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What the difference between some stoned and someone drunk? When your drunk you think having a good time even when you not and when you stoned your so high you think your a dragon ball z character.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How high is a Chinaman

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the teenage girl get for just sweet 16? An abortion

thumb_up thumb_down -23

roses are red violets are blue does this smell like chloroform

thumb_up thumb_down -23

How do I make my penis 12 inches? Tug on it.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What do you call a rich black man? A auntrapanour who simply enjoys making more money than any average person

thumb_up thumb_down -23

My dad is lactose intolerant. He shouldn't eat cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

What did the orange say to the apple? Nothing, fruits can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops