What did the tree say to the boy? Nothing. As i recall, trees are unable to speak and or show signs of emotion.

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A man walked into a bar. He bought a pint.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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too bad about that wild ball, you otherwise played a fantastic softball game"

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How do you make Lady Gaga sad? You kill her family.

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Say the line below sixteen times very fast: I like to find threes and peel of their... BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK... Done? Good boy!

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What's better then petting a lion? Petting a lion and not getting eaten

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why is my wife crying? because she doesn't like tomatoes

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What's yellow and cant walk? The Sun

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whats worse than one week in school? two weeks in school. whats worse than two weeks in school? three weeks in school whats worse than three weeks in school? child abuse, killing animals and murder

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What did the caterpillar say when he emerged from his chrysalis? I am a butterfly.

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Why did the black guy not tip his pizza driver? Because he didn't order pizza.

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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Whats worse then Justin Bieber? It's a trick question, there's is nothing worse than her

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Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

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A black man wearing a belt. Oh, he has a shoelace!

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What's short, green, and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

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...The new series of spinoff movies from the worlds most frightening franchise! Pretty Normal Activity: Doing the groceries *****-Did not scare me at all :D! Ballbusters movie rentals *****- The demon never showed up which made this the scariest movie ever! Could not sleep for months... Whatyumean there is nothing paranormal in this? Aww FU*beep*CK!! Sumgay Inthestreet Journal *****-Pissed myself just from hearing the title got a stroke and almost died!, was it another Paranormal movie you said? Most overhyped comment we could find. Goddamn exaggerated movie reviews that fooled me into buying the original and expect something actually scary :(

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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