Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

Yo mamma's so stupid, she couldn't get a high paying job and had to settle for working full time at McDonalds, just to get your family through the week.

Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

KENNAH CAMPIONS LAUGH

What did the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing

Knock knock, Who's there? Pizza hut delivery service, here's your pizza, Thanks.

What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

Your dad is so abusive that he hurts you when he losses his temper

What do you call a person who drinks beer a lot? Alcohol abuser.

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

What has three legs and herpes? A male prostitute.

What's the deal with airplane food? I've never tried it. I'm just curious how it was.

Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

Why'd the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a bus.

A cat walks into a bar and orders a bowl of milk. Well, okay, it doesn't actually order it. It more of meows in a begging fashion and the bartender, being a kind individual, gets the lost animal a bowl of milk. But who's to argue semantics?

A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

What do you call a big hungry duck? A duck thats hungry and big

Two muffins are put in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "is it just me or is it getting hot in here?". The other muffin says,"HOLY CRAP!!!!! A TALKING MUFFIN!!!!".

Why didn't little Billy's parents get him the new toy he wanted? Little Billy's parents are dead.

Rebecca Black. That's it. That's the joke.

why was little johnny laughing all day cactus

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because in between 6 and 7 there used to be the number § but 7 raped and murdered it.

What did the boy say 9+9 was? The Holocaust

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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