Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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Why was the man foolish for buying a new lamp? Because he lived in a small shack with no electricity and was probably going to die soon.

What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

Jacob licked out his buthole again. It was becoming a usual thing for him to do, it suddenly became one of his hobbies and wanted to lick more, so he started licking MR. Macs

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

And the girl said: "I'll be ready in 2 hours!"

why did the chicken cross the road. to get to the other side. but it didnt. ROADKILL

Knock knock. Who's there? Cher. Cher who? Just Cher.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

How do you make a car? You build it.

You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

What did little Timmy do in the Library? Read

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

What comes after 69... Mouthwash

A Native American walks into a bar. The bartender notes that this is statistically unlikely because Native Americans are part of a small minority in the local area, but is accepting of all people so still serves him a drink.

What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? A dead cat.

Which brains do zombie like most? Zombies dont exist.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why do babies have soft spots? The skull of a baby is made up of skull bones, and in the places where the bones meet there are soft spots made up of a strong cartilage to allow the skull to grow with the baby's brain.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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