Why is Henrik so AWESOME? Cos HE just IS!!!!

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Why doesn't Micheal Jackson do a music video with Usher? Because he is dead.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Plumber, ma'am." "Thank God you're here. I haven't been able to take a shower in three days."

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Time flies an arrow. Fruit flies like banana.

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Jamie stegman put many doodles into his mouth, sometimes 2,3 even 5.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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knock knok Who's there The police, I regret to inform you your son was killed in a horrific traffic accident

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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What's the difference between two elephants? One is dead.

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A Priest, a Rabbi and an Imam all get on the same flight. About half-way through an engine begins to smoke and stutters to a halt. Fortunately, the pilot has been trained for these situations and lands the aircraft safely.

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What's the difference between a baby and an egg? One is fun to throw at houses and the other is an egg.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What is the answer to this joke? Cuz fuck you that's why.

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Beth got an aunt farm for her birthday.

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Whats the Difference between a corvette and a pile of dead babies? A Pile of dead babies is basically useless

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1)Did you hear about the sick juggler? 2)No... 1) He just couldn't stop throwing up!!!! 2)Oh no!! Is he ok?? 1)He's dead. 2)HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA c&h

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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Why haven't any women go to the moon? Cause it still doesn't need cleaning.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The next day he goes out and buys a new seeing eye dog.

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Throughout her entire pregnancy Sheniqua smoked, drank, and did many narcotic drugs such as heroin and cocaine. Why did she lose her baby before coming to term? Because I strangled her to death for being black.

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Things that have changed since I was a kid. Turtles: My time, awesome. Today: Shredder is a human which is not a human but actually a Krang, but his daughter which is not his daughter because he is a freaking krang, has a sex thing for Leonardo which is a turtle (the blue one, whatever his name is). Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: My time? Well it was awesome back then, fine I admit it, I might have been a bit biased but still, I enjoyed the hell out of it, there where five rangers and yeah that Asian bitch that gave me a boner as a kid made a green one which she giftwrapped to the rest of the team, then some white ranger showed up... But I never watched anything with the white guy, I had lots interest years ago by then (Still play that fighting game for the Snes and thats why I know there is a fucking white ranger... And deathbattle okay) Today: Power Rangers Neon, Power Rangers Tetris, Power Rangers Ultra Power, Power Rangers Sexfighters, Power Rangers Nazi, Power Rangers Texas Rangers, Power Rangers Color, Power Rangers Multiforce Orbital Neo Neon.... And thats just like 03 percent of the variants right? Moral: As a kid we always had a lol when the Asian chick turned into Yellow ranger and did a split kick, which kinda revealed she had a massive dick between her legs... Later we understood that she was a he and that the Ranger Segments are recorded in Japan... Probably by a Hermafrodite... Nah, a guy fine. Oh, and we always lolled at how "gay" the original blue ranger acted he was supposed to be Nerd but I was like eight and was like "lol he just seems gay"... Just for it to turn out that he quit the series because supposedly the rest of the actors mocked him for being gay, Wow thats... Weird.

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A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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