Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is dead, and thereby lacks the necessary motor control.

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A man attempts to rob a bank. The police are called and the robber is arrested for attempted robbery.

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go F*** yourself

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i like my coffee like i like my women ... with big titis

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Where do you find a pile of dead lawyers? In my basement.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know but you're a sick person even thinking about it.

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What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

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wetly sucks dick just like teh boowb

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because the monkey has a very weak cerrebellum.

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what can you say about a midget dressed as a clown? he had a terrible childhood.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk in to a barber shop They each ask the barber for haircuts of their preference.

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What did the tide say to the sea?ANSWER-- Long time no sea. LOL Issaiah from OHIO yolo

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What do you do when you say shut up to someone and they say make me? Rip out their vocal cords.

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knock knock? who's there? a guy..... so the man open's the door and the guy clutching a knife stabs repeatedly at his chest killing him and drags his body down into his cellar locking him away from the open world. by Mad James

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This is my favorite antijoke.

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Why did the woman spend all her time in the kitchen? For fear of her abusive husband.

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Roses are Red, violets are blue,love can not tell how much I love you!!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Not Harry Styles! - Louis

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a doorstep? A: Matt.

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Not from my wife if that is what you think, but its best people dont know who she is, because you know... A guy that gets many ladies = A playa. A girl that lets his guy do that, well, my wife feels safe about her husband (I am dead honest), but I cant expect people to suddenly go "oh yeah, his wife is totally cool and secure about it all, rather than an insecure idiot that allows him to sleep around like the dog he is) Strictly spoken, I am no dog, women say all men are pigs, but no woman settles for a boy, so that makes me a pig.

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okay so one time my dog was eating an octopus tail and i was all like...Bro! octopus are our friends dont eat them! then he was all like okay...so later i saw my goldfish eating a blue kangaroo and i was all like bro blue kangaroos are our friends dont eat them and she was all like okay.. so then i saw my sandwich eating itself and i was like bro...let me eat you instead! and it was like okay. then i saw a bear eating you so i was like bro....thats all i said before it ate both of us :( and thats the story of why i have 6 toes on my left buttcheek

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Just found out that it doesn't work.

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What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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