How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Knock knock Who's there? (Punch the listner in the face)

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So, this joke isn't funny.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin says, "Boy, it sure is hot in here!" The other muffin says nothing because it is a muffin.

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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What do you call a blonde surgeon? Not stereotypical

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Chinese men having large penis.

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a guy walks into another tall man knowing that he has something weird in his mouth. he pulls out a fly, apologizes for running into him and promptly walks to his small appartment to brush his teeth. the next day a fridge hits him in the face and he spontaneously combusts. he was never seen again.

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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Why is ms Wolfe mean? Because she is a poop face

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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What do you call an elephant in a phone booth? Stuck

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Why was 6 scared of 7? Because 7 has been convicted on multiple accounts of murder and Grievous Bodily Harm

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What did the man say after he was shot? Nothing, because the bullet hit the man with so much impact that he instantly died and was unable to talk at the current time. Others in the surrounding area walked by as if nothing was there.

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When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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Why did the man sit on the chair? Because he was tired of standing

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Steve Jobs is alive In our Hearts <3

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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