Q: What happened when the rich man got married? A:His wife stole everything he had and left him a cold and broken man.

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Why couldn't the cat drink milk? It Didn't have a face.

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i once bought a timeshare, guess what happened? i'm broke

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i find your gravy quite lumpy.

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Getting up for a black person on a buss

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A blonde woman, a brunette woman and a redhaired woman walk into a bar. They can be considered fiscally responsible because it was two for one Ladie's Night.

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If your canoe is stuck in a tree with no headlights, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon. False, snakes don't have armpits

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Why did little Katie fall off her bike? Because the postman killed the bee hive.

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i bought a sock i wore it i bought a fish i killed it i bought a human i ate it IM A CANNIBAL

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Did you hear about the Englishman who ran all the way to Loch Ness? Oh, that's a shame, because I didn't either.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Neglegence and irresponsibility of a farmer.

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Are you ready kids "Aye Aye Captain" I Can't hear you "AYE AYE CAPTAIN" Ohh... Who lives in a pineapple under the sea "Spongebob squarepants" Absorbant and yellow and porous is he "Spongebob Squarepants" If nautical nonsense be something you wish "Spongebob Squarepants" Then drop on the deck and flop like a fish "Spongebob Squarepants" READY Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants Spongebob squarepants SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS!

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Yo momma is so stupid, she has no job, five kids, and six weeks to live, due to the fact she spent all her money on cigarettes and now has lung cancer.

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emma: mat has a quick reaction time

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Why did the guy fall asleep? Because he's in a coma.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Justin Bieber's voice sounds like Michael J. Fox playing a theramin.

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why did the black man leave his home because there was a hurricane that would have killed him if he stayed.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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three gay men were sitting in a hottub. a condom floats to the surface. why the hell were you watching them?

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whats worse than a wussy times two a wusst times three i like boobs u basterds suck a dick

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because 7 was a sixoffender!

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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Whats the diffetance between a river and a waterfall? One is vertical!??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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