Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I got Alzheimer's! ...... Who the hell are you?

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Whats worse than getting shot in the foot? Watching each member of your family get shot in the foot.

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A duck walks into a bar. Then he walks out.

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what did the rooster get for his birthday? nothing

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Who won in a game of Brawl... Holden

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who. *giggle*

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Poop!!

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If you eat a brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundae, your tastebuds will likely turn purple and move to France, where people don't eat brussel sprouts-and-ketchup sundaes.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Q: What did Hitler say to the Rabbi? A: I don't like you.

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Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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What did the zombie say to the woman? I like turtles.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Cover me, im going in.

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How many babiess it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Jake: When was war of 1812? Harry: 1812 Jake: Oh.

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Why do black people love watermelon and fried chicken? Honestly who doesn't? Duh! Because most people do! Moral: Not so sure about the coolaid though...

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? ... Well, do you know or not?

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LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

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What did the ginger say to god? Nothing it has no soul

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops