What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Seven monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell off and broke its head! Momma called the doctor, And the doctor said, "I'm sorry, Mrs.Monkey, but your son has suffered a severe concussion, and will be very mentally impaired for the rest of his life."

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

why did the squirrel cross the road? -because it was stapled to the chicken.

So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

A duck walks into a bar, guess what the bartender does............ GIVES HIM A SEAT AND 6 FREE SHOTS! But instead of that the bartender promptly escort the duck out considering the fact that in all bars there is a no animal and/or pet policy so the duck went... and commitid a series of loud noises before he got to a hotel and hung itself, that is what any depressed hungover duck would do.

He I just met you, and this is crazy, but you sister just died here's her baby.

How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

Whats the difference between 10 dead babies and 8 dead babies? 2 dead babies.

How did you feel after smoking that joint? I felt like going to pass out And then? I passed out

How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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