What do you get if you put a horse in a blender? Dinner

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

What's black, hairy, and full of hate? Hitler's moustache.

Q. Why is me question not funny? A. Because there is no point to it.

Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

Chuck Norris was once engaged by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

A bear walks into a bakerey. He aks for a loaf of bread. The bakers asks: "White or brown?" The bear answers: "It doesn't matter, I'm on the motorcycle".

Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have Alzheimer's Hey i just met you

One I grabbed a lump of coal, and crushed it with such strength, that a human being was born out of it. That man is today known as Chuck Norris. Nero.

Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

Why was Jerry Sanduski at K-Mart? He heard boys pants were half off!

Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

A:Why did the chicken cross the road? B:To get The Daily.....Do you get it. A:No. B:Me neither..I get The Times.

?J?o?k?e?

once there was an anti-joke. it wasn't well thought out or even very creative. what happened to the anti-joke's premise? it got undermined or reversed in the punchline. but the punchline was way too straightforward. so, the whole joke really ended up sucking.

what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

Why did the gay guy come out of the closet? He finally found the shirt he was looking for

Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

What do you call a black man that cuts people up and takes their money? A surgeon.

Why don't you want to shout "Hi" to your friend Jack on an airplane? Because he's deaf and will not hear you.

Obama being reelected.

what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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