A man sits down to dinner with his wife And she notifies him that their 8 year old son just died

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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why did the onion fall out of the bag? ...there was a hole in the bag so the onion fell out

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Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I didn't use protection So here's your baby

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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Sarah went to church one day and went into the confession booth with her pastor. He made sure nobody was in the church, and proceeded to allow her to confess. He didn't molest her. However, when Sarah got home her abusive stepfather beat her to death in an alcoholic rage and shot himself. It was on the news.

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What do you call a black man with a speech impediment? By his name.

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A man walks into a park. He gets abducted and raped by flying asparagus.

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What's worse than getting a paper cut? Getting shot in the face.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man......they apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the frog die? Because I stapled it onto a boy's face.

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Put her in a circle and tell her to sit in the corner.

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Where did sally go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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Sometimes I stare at a Frisbee and wonder why it is getting bigger. Then, it hits me.

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So, a man walks into a doctor's office. He says, "Doctor, it hurts when I bent my arm like this." The doctor tells the man that it is simply a sprained muscle after thorough examination.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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