How do you make a 4 year old cry? You tell him all his family died in a horrible plane crash.

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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How old is your mom Dead

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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What would be the worst thing to do to Helen Keller? Cut her hands off, as it would destroy her last chance at communication and re-arranging her house so she often fell nub first over chairs.

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Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? Because it lacked the requisite musculature to facilitate locomotion

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When you wish upon a star... You are only seeing the light of that star, which has taken billions of years to travel here. The star that you are looking at has most likely dead, Just like your dreams.

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what did the dead cat say to the dead dog? Nothing, they're dead

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Nickelback.

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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What's the worst part of being raped by a unicorn? Being sentenced to a life of shame and humiliation.

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Whats the difference between a Cadillac and 100 dead babies? I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

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Q: "How does a monkey hide in a jungle?", A:"Paint its balls red and sit in a cherry tree" , Q:"What is the loudest noise in the jungle?", A: "A native picking cherries"

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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Me

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what do you get when you use heroin aids.

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Two men walk into a bar, one ducks

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What did the homeless guy say to the not-homeless guy? I'm homeless.

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What is "race car" spelled backwards? rac ecar.

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Why didn't Clair get up all day? She died in her sleep.

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when life givs you lemons, make lesbian porn

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Why am I sad right now? Because I just Sh*t my pants.

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penis

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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