You're such a dork you were found on the bottom of a whale.

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What's big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? Your mom.

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What's the difference between a Rabbi and a Priest? One's a Jew, one's a Christian

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Why did the kid fall off the bike? Because he was paraplegic.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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Why is the ground wet It rained

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Why was a black man in a prison cell? He was a highly respected plumber fixing a prisoner's faulty toilet.

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Three ladies were seen eating ice cream. One of them was licking the ice cream. Another was sucking the ice cream and the other was biting the ice cream. One of these ladies is currently married. Which one among them is the married lady? The one with a wedding ring on.

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Human: "Panda get off that slide! Your a panda, you don't understand gravity!" Panda: g=9.81 m/s squared. Human: Oh, I see, carry on.

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Dylan F fell off a bridge Landed in some water and was ok 2 days later he got bit by a shark He is now in a coma

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The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

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What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Feminine hygiene jokes aren't funny. Period

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Whats has no comedic value? A brick

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what gets louder as it get smaller? a baby in a blender

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If an old person falls in the middle of the woods do they make a sound? No their died.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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c:

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Why did Lisa let go of the monkey bars? she was being molested

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How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

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What's black and white and has difficulty turning corners? A nun with a javelin stuck through the neck.

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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