Why did the Quantum chicken cross the road? It was already on both sides.

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What do blueberries, oranges, watermelons, doors, curtains, backpacks, spoons, asian men, bicycles, asian men on bicycles, shrimp, books, eagles, dinosaurs, watermelons wearing backpacks filled with shrimp and orange spoons, feet, limes, binders, paper, candles, chicken nuggets, tvs, chairs, floors, refridgerators, and humidifiers have in common? Barnes and Noble

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a boy jumps off a building why? because he's afraid of heights

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What shoots rockets but is not classed as a deadly weapon? A toy rocket launcher, I lied about the rockets.

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What did the girl say when she got her period? Nothing, why would she want anyone to know?

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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Knock knock Who's there? *silence* WHO'S THERE? *silence* -Looks out window- Slenderman

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What did the doctor say to his wife? We have grown apart over the years, I want a divorce.

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Brian finally kissed a girl on the lips... After her daily whore shift of blowjobs -Ap

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why couldn't she get back up? She had no legs.

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A boy got a dog for his Birthday. The dog would have said happy Birthday but dogs can't speak.

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What did the black man do in the Italian Pub? He gave a 20% tip and couldn't have been more courteous.

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What happened to the man who fell off a cliff? He fell

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Q: How can you tell when your selling a Blondel a microwave A: she will keep asking how many chandler the Tv gets

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OR SOMETHING! VOLUME ONE SPECIAL ALPHA MAN EDITION: What do you do if you are in the jungle, and surrounded by a tiger, and a jaguar and have only one bullet left in the rifle? You shoot the damn jaguar in its tire, and RIDE THE GODDAMN TIGER BACK HOME! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! THE FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD R*PIST!(Yes I also wrote the original kay?)

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What's not funny? Today's anti-joke writers

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What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse then the Holocaust? Two Holocausts

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Why was the frog sad? Because he had a boy's face stapled to his feet.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to spend the night with his friend.

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three retards, a Jew, 4 Mexicans, and an Eskimo go to the grocery store. Windex is on sale. The Jew bought artichokes.

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How many Mexicans can you fit in a Smart car? None. It's too damn small!

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010010101210001010 You dirty girl

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What looks like a flower, smells like a flower, and feels like a flower, but isn't a flower? Just kidding it's a flower

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What is worse then having no dad? Russian dad that hates you a lot and wishes you drawn in vodka.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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