What did the clitoris say to the labia? I'm from the hood, the clitoral hood.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was died...

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Why did the chicken contact Michael Jackson? To get to the other side.

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This is a joke only for males: Walk into any semi busy public restroom. Stand at the urinal for about 30 seconds to a minute acting as though you cannot find your penis. Make sure you have the attention of at least 2 other urinators and then exclaim quite loudly "I can't find it!" then walk out.

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I can be considerate if like someone is burning to death and I was the one considerate enough to lit them on fire... Wait no, I am considerate towards my friends (which are all ladies, all men besides me are obstacles and nothing else) AAAAND my logic processor broke down. Anyway, please do me the honors, take the last message.

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"What would Jesus do?" "Form a religion, get nailed to a cross, and become a martyr to millions."

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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Why did the man fall down? Because he was pushed of a 5 story building

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what did one wall say to another wall? nothing walls cant talk

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why did the woman leave her husband? after years of mental and physical abuse she has decided to remove herself from the situation

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Your Mom was so fat he made herself Liposuction Twice

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That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

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These jokes don't have punchlines.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. my Mom is a hooker.

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what do you get if you cross the mafia and the yakuza? a hefty bounty on your head

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What goes in and out of a hole? A Rabbit you people have dirty minds!

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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"I see." said the blind man to his deaf son.

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite. He died the following day.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he...

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops