What did Mars say to warn Prehistoric Earth before an asteroid hit it? Nothing, sound can't travel through space, it's a vacuum. The dinosaurs will be missed.

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what did little johnny scream at the xbox after he lost a game? god what the hell! Muskcrat143 i told u to cover my back when i had my predator missile! now my covers blown and i lost my killstreak! god u suck so much and Hippo099 why didn't u kill them before they got a killstreak like wtf!!! i told u to use ur semtex cause i had a claymore set down jeez u guys suck i'm leaving.

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Why did the man not come out of the closet? He wanted to stay in narnia.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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Wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is the girl next door.

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How can you tell if someone is vegan? -they'll tell you

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Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

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Q. How did the blind man cross the road A. By an abmulance which took him to the hospital because his first attempt to cross was unsuccessful and the hospital was conventeintly located on the other side of the road.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Q: What happened when the Mexican went to the doctors? A: He was diagnosed with depression.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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A black guy walks into a bar. Suddenly, the bar goes quite, the music turns off and everybody stares. It was a gay bar and the man was very good looking.

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What did the girl get with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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What's the difference between a car and a sack of dead babies? I don't keep a car in my garage.

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what do you call a mexican in a coffee shop? a customer and/or worker in the coffee shop.

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What has 4 black legs, a green back, and will kill you if it falls on you? A pool table.

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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Knock Knock who's there docter docter who??? YOU JUST SAID IT DUMBO!!!!!! lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol

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I saw a woman get burned alive on the news... That woman was my mom.

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A murderer walks into a bar with a knife. He then stabs seven people and is then arrested shortly after.

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Why don't women wear watches? In the technological age we live in, the watch is rapidly being replaced with other electronic devices that tell time, such as cell phones or iPods.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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