How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

hi bye

thumb_up thumb_down -2

get it right up there, says jacob while with danni

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: whats funnier than watching a black man and a midget fight? A: anything technically, your opinion

thumb_up thumb_down -2

When I was just a little kid, my daddy lest the house and we all joined him to wherever he wanted to live.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Half a worm... What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being Gang-raped!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither Has He.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Halt! Who goes there?! It is I, Prince Ali Ba Ba of Yo mamas house. To what do I owe this pleasure of your kindness? I come to you with gifts, relics, and spices. All these can be yours if the price is right. Surely there must be a mistake here. How do you go about by and by without a horse? Are you who you say you are? English mothafucka do you speak it?!!! What is this mothafucka do you speak of? Say what again, I dare you! I double dare you mothafucka say what one more goddddam time. Oh wait stop, hammer time...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's one very bad way to injure yourself? Smashing your head against a metal surface

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A pirate walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "why do you have a wheel in your pants?"

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A wife asks her husband if he can fix the sink and he responds with Do I have plumber written on my forehead. Then she asks him if he can fix the porch and he responds with Do I have contractor written on my forehead. So the husband goes on vacation and comes back to find the sink and porch fixed and he asks his wife how it is fixed and she says that the new neighbor helped. So she says the neighbor said he would only do it for cake or sex. The husband respond by saying Which one did you choose. His wife responds by saying Do I have Betty Crocker written on my forehead.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Henry's mom packed Henry sweaters And lots of things besides sweaters Henry went to war He saw lots of gore Logically, he wouldn't need a sweater because he had to wear his uniform during the battle. Did i mention that Henry likes chocolate?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

rofl lol, the joke below me has made my computer offer to translate this page. It thinks it's in Spanish

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms Knock, Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah...

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What happens when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant? Absolutely nothing. The two belong to entirely different animal families and their reproductive abilities are totally incompatible. A kangaroo could never fertilize an elephant, or vice versa. To suggest anything else is unrealistic and a physical impossibility.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

If John has 10 packs of beer and he drinks 8 packs,what is John left with? Morbid Obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what unique about 3 red signs and 1 blue sign right next to eachother? there all the same colors!!!!except for the blue sign.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was getting chased by a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops